Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Yet again, my little world has taken a screaming right hand turn into the twilight zone.

... so there i am blissfully enjoyin my hack-n-slash fest ont the computer, when my son comes hurtling out of his room and slams into the back of my chair hard enough to make me worried about massive head trauma.
he then proceeds to tug my elbow repeatedly whilst insistently saying "hey HEY HEY".
shaken out of my blood soaked fantasy, i dislodge myself from the electronic nipple and fix the boy with my best "you are so going to get it" glare and ask him what he wants.

his response, well he hands me a matchbox car then quacks at me and scuttles back to his room.... seriously he QUACKED at me.. it was like some weird pink duck walked in and wanted to say heya.

apparently i was in urgent need of a toy car only i just didnnt know that yet (i still haven't figured out the quack thing). i give a mental shrug and turn back around to my gore-fest and go back to la-la land. after about five minutes or so (at least i THINK it was five minutes...hell it coulda been 2 hours) irealize it is WAAAAY too quiet ... and the dog.... is no where to be seen.. (DANGER will robinson DANGER).

i go whipping outta my chair and start to run to his room (imagining the tortures that have been inflicted on the poor put-upon lump), and nearly break my neck slipping on a cunningly placed toddler devised warning system ( 2nd matchbox car in stealth mode). now so forewarned jr pops his head out of his room and says "hi daddy-o"

i open the door expecting the worst, and there sits the lump comfortably sacked out on jrs bed all happy and shit. i think to myself "well hell... false alarm ... back to the game" and as i start to go back to the computer i hear jr start to babble on in xavierese, i turn around so i can figure out what it is that he wants and sneak up to his room to peer in. now HERE is where the whole thing takes a tailspin into utter madness.

he isnt talking to me at all... he's talking to the feaking LUMP, and shes listening to him. not resignedly tolerating him,, shes staring at him intently apparently hanging on to every word. he stops talking for a second and the damn lump heaves her lazy ass off his bed and trundles over to his toybox and snuffles at his remote control firetruck... i'll be dammned if he doesnt go over to the toybox and grab the truck and remote and cart it over to the bed.

the lump goes back over to the bed and lays down again... meanwhile jr is apparently lecturing the lump about how to control the rc firetruck....

JUST WAIT A FRICKIN MINUTE HERE..... the lump and the toddler are working together now??? and they understand each other as well????

holy sheep shit batman... i'm screwed.. they've banded together, the miscchief factor just increased by a factor of 15 million.

guess it's time i hunker down and break the code (previously xavierese has been a mere curiosity).. maybe the cake and milk will lull them into a false sense of security... but ill keep my eyes open now that i know they can communicate....

-dawg