cracking the code: part one (the veil lifts)

now that i am faced with the very real likelihood that the lump and the mutant are in full communication, and in all probabilty plotting world domination behind my back.
it has become imperative that i crack the "code" otherwise known as xavierese..
only with the succsessful infiltration of their secret language can i hope to avert disaster.

so far progress is painfully slow but i have managed to decipher three words and am now able to discern how these once innocent phrases are used to devasting effect on a daily basis..

1. TANK - to you and me a 15 ton metal bohemoth that crushes and destroys enemies in front of it..
....in xavierese tank = SNACK (seems innocent huh?... just you wait!)

2. BUGU (has no known definition in our world)
... in xavierese =BURGER

3. PLEASE i dont even really need to define this for you and me
.. however in xavierese PLEASE is a deadly potent weapon used to secure evrything from toys and treats to the mutant using it to subliminaly control our minds..

for example "please tank" is used to suddenly and completly subsume the target victims will and force them to immediately stop whatever they are doing and go fetch the mutant some for of sugar laden power food formerly known as a "SNACK"

a second example:

"PLEEEASE bugu!! daddy-o" (daddy-o seems to be some form of power word that magnifies the effects of his mind control, only works on me however)

this evil phrase when used with a slight pout to the lips and a glimmering of tears in the eyes, will quite literally suspend all activity in a 20ft radius and instantly cause adults in the area of effect to proceed to burger king and purchase hamburgers for the mutant's enjoyment....

... i am beginning to think that the lump is mentally reinforcing the mutants mind control, as she is always glued to his side whenever he unleashes his dastardly powers...

it took a while to see what the lump gains by assisting the mutant in his rampage towards world domination.. but i have noticed that the mutant gives her bits of candy and hamburger, for which the lump is embarassngly greatful...(hmmm maybe some sort of symbiotic relationship???)

anyway.. i have seen justa a couple of the weapons at the mutant's disposal (and they are truly horrible to be seen in use), and just maybe through identification i might be able to blunt future assaults....

.... if only there is enought time to crack the full code before......

-dawg