memories in winter

it is dark out, snow blamkets the ground in a serene white blanket. the world is still, quiet and peaceful, i light a smoke and brush the snow off the porch rail. i lean forward and stare into the yard and the snow covered land seems to embrace me, and for the first time in a week or two , i personally am at peace.

the more time goes on, the more i realize that in many ways i truly am my fathers legacy and in some ways i have taken a much different path than he. some of this is good, and some of this... well... it just, is. events that profoundly affect our lives have a tendency to make us stop and do a "reality check". i have had many such moments in my life, and starngely enough they are usually in the peaceful aftermath of some kind of storm.

this moment is no different, standing there in the night, i feel a warmth come over me. and i know in my bones, i am alone? no, that is one thing i most certainly am not! always in times like these my connection with those "ghosts of the past" is the strongest, those resolute personalities that have so immutably shaped this life i call "my own". while it truly is my own life, they have shaped it and guide me still.

for better or worse i am my fathers son, as he was his father's. and my son will eventually come to the same realization himself, and the chain will continue. one thing though, i am DEFINITELY NOT doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. my life is not about the decisions i make... it is about the actions i take... these are my living legacy..

a large snowflake drifts down and extinguishes my cigarette, and i am jolted back into the here and now, a decision has been made, a turning point reached... now is the time for action.

as my feet crunch through the new snow, i hear a faint voice drifting on the wind, and i know once again.. i am fine.. they taught me well, and they are with me.... the voice seems to say... "ya know boy, i hated salad too"

guess ill go inside have a glass of tea with splenda, and have a salad.... uggh!
peace
-dawg

p.s. if this doesnt make sense, just give it a while.... it will