so now we are a month into living with the newest dog sammie (samiel) and things are getting really weird.....ok ok.. a little backstory here.
according to the previous owner (not sure if its true or not) she had previosly given sammie away to another lady that didn't take care of him and ended back in the local pound (he's chipped and she lives on a army base.. so guess who they called) well anyhow, the reason given for getting rid of him, was that her mastiff "tried to eat" him.. (heh it's a mastiff, ill buy that)
now i'm not sure if it was his time of neglect.. the near assasination by the mastiff, or the constant re-gifting, but this fucker is neurotic!
you even walk in the general direction of the food bag and he goes freaking nuts! i mean jumping straight up in the air and his ass is doing figure 8's while his tail is spinning like a helicopter trying to take off. (all the while making grunts and groans that remind me of the neighbors late night activities, from my first crappy apartment)
he follows the kid around as if jr were the messiah.. actually if i walk around the house it kinda looks like one of those "ducks on a string" pull toys. daddy (big duck)----jr (small duck)-----sammie (smallest duck).
of course if i was a dog, i'd be glued to jr too (never ending source of tasty bitz)
lately he has taken to sniffing the table (licking it when he thinks we aren't watching) and i've even caught him helping himself to jr's plate once.
last night.. this brilliant animal decided to snatch a piece of bread from MY table WHILE i was watching. listen folks i stabbed a guy in the hand with a fork for stealing a chicken nugget from me once.. you DO NOT TOUCH dawg's food.... that is what we would call BAD.
the only thing that saved this dog, was the fact that if i went after him faster, my food wouldve been all over the floor, and that other dog.... you know... the furry sausage with legs??, she would have been on it like an ethiopian on a chicken.
anyway, dog caught.. howling commenced... (OMG the sounds, it sounded like i was beating him with a porcupine) i'm lauging so hard at his howls that all i could do was whack him once on the head, at which point he looks at me like "thats it???? aww crap i thought i was gonna be hurtin???"
jr comes scrambling in, goes right to the damn dawg and hugs him round the neck and says "it's ok sammy" then promptly goes over and grabs a bit of sandwich off his plate and shoves it at the dog...which the dog promptly inhales (no shit.. his mouth opened, and from two feet away, this bit of sandwich seem to teleport to his mouth) just like a friggin hoover vacumn.
hmmm... HOOVER!
might be time re-name the dog, yet agin
peace
-dawg
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3 comments:
OMFG that was hilarious hehe
Beating him with a porcupine. Love the mental image from that one.
Hoping for an update on the saga soon!
--Tut
Haha! Welcome to the land of Dogs..
I have to share a funny story with my dog...
So I have this chair at my computer desk, which has a nice rounded, but open, arm rest. It is a little too high for me, and I really need to take it off, but for the time being, it is there, and I dont use it.
The other night my dog sits next to me while eating a snack... She determines that her whines and shuffles arent gaining her enough attention, so she sticks her head through the armrest, and nudges my arm, to which I promptly drop my cheez and cracker, and she hoovers it off the floor.
Kicker is, that I havent learned from my mistake yet, and she knows it too. Everynight she exploits this once or twice till I get fed up and make her go lay down.
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