THIS POST IS NOT KID FRIENDLY
sorry for not writing.. blah blah blah........
ahh forget that crap, i have just been too damn busy lately to write.
so jr is sick.. flu/cold who the hell knows (gonna inflict him on the dr tomorrow morn), and of course when jr is sick.... EVERYFUCKINGBODY is freaking MISERABLE!!!!
mom is so tired that she just kinda sits on the couch staring vacantly at the tv... (and its not even on)
me.. i'm just a little tired of saying .. "what??.. hang on.. blow your nose so i can understand you!" (figger as much as the mutant talks... i've been saying that A LOT!)
the lump.. well she's only come out of hiding for food lately.
and sammie?? he just kind of paces up and down the carpet grumbling to himself.
truly it is a house full of zombie-like miserable beings.... except jr...
hell he is actually kinda happy... leastways he seems to be garnering some type of insane glee from making the rest of us suffer. (i swear i saw his stuffed cow try to escape to the closet (YES it is that bad)
finally a couple of hours ago, the cough medicine took effect, and jr finally passed out... (to all of you who want to get self righteous about using meds that knock him out.... BUGGER OFF!! you try it on "politically correct" meds)
anywhoo...... passed out kid = household breaktime.
momma.. pours herself into the bed... the lump... well the lump remains lumplike, and sammie and i head outside for a smoke ... and no the dog doesn't smoke (he still can't figure out the lighter)
as i light up sammie waits patiently for me to throw something, anything.... ( whatever dude, just throw something now!!!!!!!!!)
as i get ready to grab a stick from the pile on our window ledge (big ass pile of sticks... sammie and jr BOTH fetch em) he notices a small brown shape on the porch..
immediately this lump has his interest (and mine) and he bolts the whole 6 inches to where it sits staring defiantly at both of us..
i take a look at this rather nice sized specimen of common american toad, and think to myself "heh, this is gonna be fun"
almost as if he read the "idiots guide to life" sammie promptly bounces up in the air (if you have a lab you understand the bounce.. if not, ask a lab owner) and pounces on the poor little toad.
looks up at me triumphantly with toad in mouth, and i swear to god.. the black dog looked a bit green around the gills as he just opens his mouth and PUSHES the toad out with his TONGUE (as if he wants to avoid all possible lip contact)
the toad plops to the ground and promptly puffs up and resumes his defiant stare.
sammie starts to shake his head and tries to scrape the foulness off his tongue by running it over his upper teeth, of course this is less than successful (to say the least).
at this point he starts droolling uncontrollably and foaming a bit at the mouth (shit naw, i ain't worried i know this un aint poison, just freakin NASTEEE tasting)
the dawg starts licking the concrete, dirt, grass, brick siding, woodedn garden rails, and finally seems to get some relief as he proceeds to lick his own ass (and we are talking colonoscopy here folks)
one wonders: how in the hell are we not up to our necks iin toads, if inserting ones tongue in your own ass actually tastes BETTER???
peace
-dawg
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3 comments:
LOL!
I think I spewed chili out of my nose I laughed so hard :)
Missing you much hound! Hope everything is going ok.
Silver recently rescued a darling little pup from the pound. They said it was Australian Shepherd, but lo and behold after saving this thing from just about everything under the sun (he had Herpes, Pneumonia, Bordatella, and was severely underweight!) he turned out to be a lab.
And yes, we know the hop/pounce. The one that they can lift the whole front part of their body off of the ground to about 2 and a half feet in the air without so much as benidng their elbows - yeah. He is a vivacious pup now, and is pushing 7 months old.
If you have ever seen "Marley and Me" this dog is undoubtedly Marley - Reincarnated. From the time he wakes up (at 5 am non the less), till the time we calm him down enough to fall asleep (pushing 10), he gets yelled at every 5 minutes for being in mischief.
Anyway! Glad to hear from you again. Missing you in game a ton, its just not the same without you and Joe.
YAY! Another post! heh.
Fun with dogs. Gratz to silver, btw, on the new puppy. I had to take our lab up to the shelter and drop her off Thursday. We were all sitting in the living room, Ms. dog walks over and sits next to 10-yr-old-daughter. She starts petting dog, no big deal. 10 minutes into the petting, as we all watch TV, the dog turns, snarls, and bites daughter on the face. I was right there, and had a hold of dog after the first 'chomp' by the collar/scruff. Older daughter and I both agree that it was completely unprovoked. Nothing happened, except she went nuts and bit. Since older daughter babysits a 2 yr old, we simply could not risk something else happening. Especially since we knew that she would attack now. Needless to say, I am unpopular with the family now.
Ohh Dawg... Where have you gone?!?!
Hope everything is well, and hope you and yours have a very happy holidays.
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