so the inlaws have come and gone. this was a truly awesome visit, jr had a blast, momma got to spend some rare f2f time with her mom and sis, and me, well i got a chance to drop a nuke on my sis in laws diet...
heh she'll be cursing me for months after this visit....and her trainer... is gonna freaking love me!
however as is normal in visits of this nature, there were a couple of "land mines" left cheerfully behind. i'm really only gonna discuss one of em...
laura? (my sis in law) did you really consider the ramifications of leaving behind FOUR FUCKING POUNDS of easter candy????
basking in the glow of a great visit, mom and i very obviously took leave of our senses and not only took the mountain of candy "auntie la-la, and gramma" left behind, but added some of our own to the pile.
end result..... 8 DAYS LATER, the siege has finally lifted.
the sad sad shattered corpses of marshmallow peeps, and chocolate bunnies have littered the battleground that we call home, for the last week. and the mutant... oh .....my .......gawd.
chocolate GENOCIDE (oh the humanity of it all)
he single handedly decimated whole populations of various chocolatey creatures, and as the week has drawn out, and the sugar levels have risen to dangerously epic proportions, has become steadily more... well... hyper (go figure.. 4 yr old boy + 5 pounds of pure sugar = BAD IDEA)
sad part is .. we both KNEW this was an incredibly BAD IDEA, but as we are shamelessly indulgent parents, went ahead and did it anyway.
this finally reached its climax late last night...
picture the scene, mom on computer, dad on couch, both furtively looking over shoulder to center of living room.
1dog hiding in corner behind couch, 1 hiding in the kitchen, both furtively looking over shoulder to center of living room.
mutant..... is dancing.... leaping up and down and shrilling out a semblance of a song that some vapid cartoon on tv is blasting out..
dad: SON! STOP JUMPING NOW!!!!
mutant: but dad
dad: NOOOW!
mutant: buuuut DAAAAAAADD!
dad: TOOTHBRUSH, AND TOOTHPASTE its time for you to GO TO BED!
mutant: ........oookkkk...... (goes off to brush his teeth)
mutant: (comes back to living room after brushing teeth, plops down on couch and says) "but dad i'm not tired)
dad: (steps outside to have a smoke.... NOT...GONNA....EXPLODE....) whaaathe hell???
i shit you not 2 minute smokebreak... little sucker is on the couch sprawled out.. freaking snoring!!!
holiday frog silently hops on his way.
i swear.. next time the frog comes by...... FROG LEGS for dinner.
peace
-dawg
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2 comments:
Dawg:
I had a grand total of - 1 bag of candy for the holiday, and it took me and my family a week to polish it off. But, boy howdy, I remember the days when I had a STACK of about 10 pounds of candy from all of my various relatives.
Hopefully you can get him to kick sugar with as little reprecussions as possible :)
In any event, glad to hear you like (or at least can talerate) your in laws. I am a step child, and let me tell you, I cannot stand my step-grandauntunclewhtchamacallits. I usually go hide when they force their way into my life for a few hours of torturenagbitchskank-fest.
Ohh - P.S. Keep in contact buddy! Im going to miss you in game tons. shawnbc84@gmail.com
Besides, who else is going to give me awesome freaking recipes?
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