christmas is over and done...DONE i tell ya........!!!!
christmas morning 8:35am
jr: mmpfff...mrmmm... morning da....... (jr stops and stares in stunned disbelief)
8:35 am (a handful of picoseconds later)
jr: ...............OH MY GOD!!!! le.... le......LEEEEEEGGGGOOOOOSSSS!!!!!
at this point the chant begins..... legos, legos, legos......legos, legos........ (repeat ad nauseum) and the for 5 solid minutes jr wanders around in a lego induced haze staring at the panorama of built lego sets, he kinda squats down and tenatively reaches towards the first car and hesitates for a second (as if afraid that the toys might dissapear in a puff of smoke).
then... like some sort of all devouring lego black hole... he starts pulling ALL of the legos into a neatly ordered pile in front of him and utters a low maniacal grin. (more than a bit reminiscent of some freaky rabid squirrell, hoarding nuts).
picture taking courtesy of mom ensues.... at this point it was decided that maybe.. just maybe we should break the insidious lego spell, and encourage him to open his other presents..
he picks up a wrapped present, and very laboriously starts to pick the tape off, and smooth back the paper, all the time casting glances about to ensure that he is "unwrapping properly"
mom says go ahead.. rip it open..... jr's eyes widen a bit and.......
..... a horerendous sound, a lot like a cow being launched into an airplane propeller comes from the area around jr ( whoosh GRRRRRRRaaaaccckkkk) .. bits of wrapping paper start raining down like confetti, and i seriously consider putting my raincoat on.
oohhhhh a transformer....... at this point he hands the transformer to me and says "here daddy, open it please" with nark the skip of a heartbeat he dives into the pile of presents set before him, and the disturbing sound of cow meeting highspeed chopper begins again..... wash rinse repeat......
until....
the last and largest present gets hauled out from under the tree (ah who am i kidding, hauled?? naah... it sort of teleported into his hands from the spot ath the back of the tree).
jr gives this most magnificent of presents a shake or two... or twenty...... and looks at both of us and screams....... MORE LEEEEGGGOOOSSSS.. (sucker knows what legos SOUND like??? wrapped up even??)
this package gets treated just a tiny bit easier..... RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP......... (horrid horrid sound.. repeatedly... sounds like a bunnyrabbit being skinned) and as just enough of the box gets exposed for him to see that is in fact legos..... another bloodcurdling scream emits from his tiny frame...(the whole pack of sabine women have NOTHING on him)
CITYYYYY legoooos............
the remainder of the wrapping gets reduced to a fine spray of particulate matter, and he grabs this box of legos which is half as long, as he is tall..... hoists it over his head, so to show the world... and proclaims....
BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!!
he then turns to me and gives me a hug and a kiss, n says..."i love you daddy, you rock"
ten foot tall and bullet proof??? nah.. i eat wusses like that for breakfast...
.
..
....
........
10 hours later... a mishmash of lego bricks and bits of former lego constructs litter the floor in coencentric circles around jr... he stands there surveying his domain, grabs his lego dragon, and emits a shockingly reptillian roar......
... OH MY GOD........GODZILLA .... iv'e raised godzilla..... heaven help us.
peace be unto all of you!
-dawg
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
christmas memories and whatnot
Well, christmas is here, and with it comes the nearing of a new year. for most people christmas is a time of reflection and family, this is true for me as well. however this christmas is a bit poignant, as i sit here writing i am remembering my aunt ruth. ruth was the quintessential "christmas maven" many were the holidays spent with her, watching her create feasts that still lodge in my memory to this day.
ruth was technically the "keeper of the recipes"in the family (in reality my father, and now i have about half of them) these recipes are a collection of family culinary treasures that have wandered from generation to generation and have been jealously guarded for literally a couple of hundred years. every couple of generations we seem to have one cook pop up that will rework or just plain add new recipes to the ever expanding hoard.. my grandmother was one of these stellar cooks, and in the grand tradition she handed over the recipes (well, some of em anyway) to her daughter (ruth).
it must be said that she didnt turn them over easily or without much grumbling. but the decision was made to pass on the torch after a disastrous incident involving my grandfather.
meemaw (my grandmother) was going to be out of town for a couple of days visiting friends, and knowing my popoo's (my grandfather) absolute inability to boil water, had left him some turkey tetrazzini, fearing that he might in fact starve if left to his own devices (incidentally popoo loved turkey tetrazzini, and meemaw absolutely DESPISED the stuff..... such is love, she made it for him anyway)
she had left it in a tupperware container in the refridgerator with explicit instructions on how to prepare it, what rack in the oven, what temp, how long etc....
this should have been the end of things.. but ohh no.....
ruth gets a call on saturday morning (day after meemaw went out of time) from popoo asking if meemaw had left any of the tetrazzini with her, and if so would she mind if he stopped over that evening and had some.. when questioned by ruth as to what happened to the tetrazzini that meemaw had left for him.. he simply stated "he overcooked it"..
meemaw had in fact only left the tetrazzinin for popoo, but ruth being... well.. ruth, said sure dadi have some, come on over at 6 for dinner, we'd love to have you. at this point ruth made a mad dash for the store to get the ingredients to make turkey tetrazzini, several frantic hours later she completed her tetrazzini (which she had seen meemaw make many many times) just in time for popoo to arrive for dinner. after the meal when asked how he had enjoyed it, he stated "mother must not be feeling well, it wasnt like she usually makes it, i'm glad she got to go take a break for a few days.
well, ruth took things in stride, as popoo did not know, and was not trying to be mean, he was just being his usual straightforward self (he was always a little oblivious to the goings on in the family), and propmptly discussed the incident with meemaw after she returned from her trip...
upon investigation (meemaw never asked popoo what happened) she found a charred lump of plastic with bits of equally charred tetrazzini still embedded in it stuffed in the bottom of the wastebin. it seems popoo followed the instructions EXACTLY.. putting the tetrazzini in the oven plastic container and all. meemaw was NEVER to repeat this mistake, and with some back room dealing it was decide that ruth would get the recipe book, and that in any future trips, popoo would eat with ruth and her family..
and thus the recipes were handed on....
the tetrazzini was made many times by ruth after that, and the comment was always the same... it was good ruth.. but it just seemed to miss something..
ruth never got hurt by this, as meemaw did have a habit of omitting a "sceret ingredient" or two from her recipes... and in fact quite often recipes of hers made exactly from the instructions, often failed to match the output of her own kitchen..
it was not until many years later (shortly before my popoo passed away) that ruth finally gave in and called my father to ask if he happened to know what the secret ingredient for the tetrazzini was, he laughed and told her the secret 1/2 cup of scotch... the first time she had ever made the tetrazzinin for popoo, she had made him a small scotch on the rocks for before dinner, and with drink in hand had gone over to give the tetrazzini a stir, and dropped the drink into the food...
popoo loved it.. and she never had the heart to omit the scotch again...
that is love...... so, next time you sit down and eat a meal with your family.. consider.. if it is a "family recipe" what the story behind that recipe is, you might be surprised.
peace
-dawg
ruth was technically the "keeper of the recipes"in the family (in reality my father, and now i have about half of them) these recipes are a collection of family culinary treasures that have wandered from generation to generation and have been jealously guarded for literally a couple of hundred years. every couple of generations we seem to have one cook pop up that will rework or just plain add new recipes to the ever expanding hoard.. my grandmother was one of these stellar cooks, and in the grand tradition she handed over the recipes (well, some of em anyway) to her daughter (ruth).
it must be said that she didnt turn them over easily or without much grumbling. but the decision was made to pass on the torch after a disastrous incident involving my grandfather.
meemaw (my grandmother) was going to be out of town for a couple of days visiting friends, and knowing my popoo's (my grandfather) absolute inability to boil water, had left him some turkey tetrazzini, fearing that he might in fact starve if left to his own devices (incidentally popoo loved turkey tetrazzini, and meemaw absolutely DESPISED the stuff..... such is love, she made it for him anyway)
she had left it in a tupperware container in the refridgerator with explicit instructions on how to prepare it, what rack in the oven, what temp, how long etc....
this should have been the end of things.. but ohh no.....
ruth gets a call on saturday morning (day after meemaw went out of time) from popoo asking if meemaw had left any of the tetrazzini with her, and if so would she mind if he stopped over that evening and had some.. when questioned by ruth as to what happened to the tetrazzini that meemaw had left for him.. he simply stated "he overcooked it"..
meemaw had in fact only left the tetrazzinin for popoo, but ruth being... well.. ruth, said sure dadi have some, come on over at 6 for dinner, we'd love to have you. at this point ruth made a mad dash for the store to get the ingredients to make turkey tetrazzini, several frantic hours later she completed her tetrazzini (which she had seen meemaw make many many times) just in time for popoo to arrive for dinner. after the meal when asked how he had enjoyed it, he stated "mother must not be feeling well, it wasnt like she usually makes it, i'm glad she got to go take a break for a few days.
well, ruth took things in stride, as popoo did not know, and was not trying to be mean, he was just being his usual straightforward self (he was always a little oblivious to the goings on in the family), and propmptly discussed the incident with meemaw after she returned from her trip...
upon investigation (meemaw never asked popoo what happened) she found a charred lump of plastic with bits of equally charred tetrazzini still embedded in it stuffed in the bottom of the wastebin. it seems popoo followed the instructions EXACTLY.. putting the tetrazzini in the oven plastic container and all. meemaw was NEVER to repeat this mistake, and with some back room dealing it was decide that ruth would get the recipe book, and that in any future trips, popoo would eat with ruth and her family..
and thus the recipes were handed on....
the tetrazzini was made many times by ruth after that, and the comment was always the same... it was good ruth.. but it just seemed to miss something..
ruth never got hurt by this, as meemaw did have a habit of omitting a "sceret ingredient" or two from her recipes... and in fact quite often recipes of hers made exactly from the instructions, often failed to match the output of her own kitchen..
it was not until many years later (shortly before my popoo passed away) that ruth finally gave in and called my father to ask if he happened to know what the secret ingredient for the tetrazzini was, he laughed and told her the secret 1/2 cup of scotch... the first time she had ever made the tetrazzinin for popoo, she had made him a small scotch on the rocks for before dinner, and with drink in hand had gone over to give the tetrazzini a stir, and dropped the drink into the food...
popoo loved it.. and she never had the heart to omit the scotch again...
that is love...... so, next time you sit down and eat a meal with your family.. consider.. if it is a "family recipe" what the story behind that recipe is, you might be surprised.
peace
-dawg
Saturday, December 13, 2008
He ate WHAT?????
I love the old joke about socrates.....
j: what wre socrates' last words......... "I DRANK WHAT???"
i NEVER thought i would utter any statement evn close to that.... but.. weird things happen.
samiel, my black lab (now a rambunctious juvenile) appears to now truly be a mixed breed. he seems to be a cross between a black lab and a billy goat... that damn dog eats EVERYTHING.
i've seen him eat fricking rocks..... so by this point .. nothing should surprise me...
cd jewel cases (with cd's inside) taste great with hot sauce.
books........ ala mode please
plastic bags........ oooooh more please
legos........ appetizers
spare change.......what??? i'm saving for a new rope bone!
and now the crowning, not wanting to believe it happend achievement.
.... in a box of computer parts, my son found a mouse ball.. ya know.. bout the size of a nickel.. weighs about a pound, the little rubber wrapped metal ball.....
and thw WIFE thought it would be a great idea to toos this thing to the dog so that he could "fetch" it.
LOOk honey ... watch!
swooosh..... CHUNK....scrabble scrabble!..... good boy!
swooosh....... chink.... roll roll roll.... scrabble scrabble .... sliiiide.... slurp...
umm honey.... i think sammy just ate the mouse ball...
HE ATE WHAT!!!!
well gues we are gonna find out what the phrase "like a dog straining to shit a peach seed" really looks like!
i wonder.... if i sticjk a usb cable up his but and rub his belly....... will my cirsor move??
peace
-dawg
j: what wre socrates' last words......... "I DRANK WHAT???"
i NEVER thought i would utter any statement evn close to that.... but.. weird things happen.
samiel, my black lab (now a rambunctious juvenile) appears to now truly be a mixed breed. he seems to be a cross between a black lab and a billy goat... that damn dog eats EVERYTHING.
i've seen him eat fricking rocks..... so by this point .. nothing should surprise me...
cd jewel cases (with cd's inside) taste great with hot sauce.
books........ ala mode please
plastic bags........ oooooh more please
legos........ appetizers
spare change.......what??? i'm saving for a new rope bone!
and now the crowning, not wanting to believe it happend achievement.
.... in a box of computer parts, my son found a mouse ball.. ya know.. bout the size of a nickel.. weighs about a pound, the little rubber wrapped metal ball.....
and thw WIFE thought it would be a great idea to toos this thing to the dog so that he could "fetch" it.
LOOk honey ... watch!
swooosh..... CHUNK....scrabble scrabble!..... good boy!
swooosh....... chink.... roll roll roll.... scrabble scrabble .... sliiiide.... slurp...
umm honey.... i think sammy just ate the mouse ball...
HE ATE WHAT!!!!
well gues we are gonna find out what the phrase "like a dog straining to shit a peach seed" really looks like!
i wonder.... if i sticjk a usb cable up his but and rub his belly....... will my cirsor move??
peace
-dawg
the 8,640 minutes of christmas!!! OR "how the mutant stole christmas"
On the first day of christmas my mutant gave to me, A FRICKIN EXCEDRIN HEADACHE NUMBER 3!!!!!
i have always loved the song "the twelve days of christmas" however,having a 4yr old in the house has truly tempered that enthusiasm. this is the first christmas that the mutant truly "gets it" well at least the presents, lights, snacks, etc....
twelve days may be a simple enough breakdown to lead up to xmas for most "ordinary" households, but with the mutant, we have to slog through it minute by exhaustive minute.
thus the "8,640 minutes" of christmas.
(on the couch watching tv)
daddy, is christmas here yet?
-NO maybe.... MAYBE christmas will be here in a couple of weeks.
(in the car going to the grocery store)
daddy, can we go to the christmas house????)
-GAWDinheaven.... SON!!!! there is no christmas house!!!!!....
but, but, but..... i WANT christmas legooooooooooo's
-GGGGRRRRRRRRR maybe if you are really really good... maybe.. maybe santa will bring you christmas legos.
(at mc'donalds)
DADDY LOOK....... I FOUND CHRISTMAS!!!!
-dammittohell....... put the damn ornament back on the tree.... NOOOWWWW!!!!!!!
(various times and locations)
DADDY...
-NO
daddy
-no
but daddy
-nonononono its not christmas yet! please please please STOP asking about christmas...
thank god only 12 days left.......sanity slipping.... need relief....
i swear santa if you don't show yer ass up promptly at 12:01 christmas morning, im gonna hunt yer fat ass down and eat your fucking reindeer.
peace be unto all, this holiday season.
-dawg
i have always loved the song "the twelve days of christmas" however,having a 4yr old in the house has truly tempered that enthusiasm. this is the first christmas that the mutant truly "gets it" well at least the presents, lights, snacks, etc....
twelve days may be a simple enough breakdown to lead up to xmas for most "ordinary" households, but with the mutant, we have to slog through it minute by exhaustive minute.
thus the "8,640 minutes" of christmas.
(on the couch watching tv)
daddy, is christmas here yet?
-NO maybe.... MAYBE christmas will be here in a couple of weeks.
(in the car going to the grocery store)
daddy, can we go to the christmas house????)
-GAWDinheaven.... SON!!!! there is no christmas house!!!!!....
but, but, but..... i WANT christmas legooooooooooo's
-GGGGRRRRRRRRR
(at mc'donalds)
DADDY LOOK....... I FOUND CHRISTMAS!!!!
-dammittohell....... put the damn ornament back on the tree.... NOOOWWWW!!!!!!!
(various times and locations)
DADDY...
-NO
daddy
-no
but daddy
-nonononono its not christmas yet!
thank god only 12 days left.......sanity slipping.... need relief....
i swear santa if you don't show yer ass up promptly at 12:01 christmas morning, im gonna hunt yer fat ass down and eat your fucking reindeer.
peace be unto all, this holiday season.
-dawg
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