hmm, maybe HOOVER woulda been a better name.

so now we are a month into living with the newest dog sammie (samiel) and things are getting really weird.....ok ok.. a little backstory here.
according to the previous owner (not sure if its true or not) she had previosly given sammie away to another lady that didn't take care of him and ended back in the local pound (he's chipped and she lives on a army base.. so guess who they called) well anyhow, the reason given for getting rid of him, was that her mastiff "tried to eat" him.. (heh it's a mastiff, ill buy that)

now i'm not sure if it was his time of neglect.. the near assasination by the mastiff, or the constant re-gifting, but this fucker is neurotic!

you even walk in the general direction of the food bag and he goes freaking nuts! i mean jumping straight up in the air and his ass is doing figure 8's while his tail is spinning like a helicopter trying to take off. (all the while making grunts and groans that remind me of the neighbors late night activities, from my first crappy apartment)

he follows the kid around as if jr were the messiah.. actually if i walk around the house it kinda looks like one of those "ducks on a string" pull toys. daddy (big duck)----jr (small duck)-----sammie (smallest duck).
of course if i was a dog, i'd be glued to jr too (never ending source of tasty bitz)

lately he has taken to sniffing the table (licking it when he thinks we aren't watching) and i've even caught him helping himself to jr's plate once.
last night.. this brilliant animal decided to snatch a piece of bread from MY table WHILE i was watching. listen folks i stabbed a guy in the hand with a fork for stealing a chicken nugget from me once.. you DO NOT TOUCH dawg's food.... that is what we would call BAD.
the only thing that saved this dog, was the fact that if i went after him faster, my food wouldve been all over the floor, and that other dog.... you know... the furry sausage with legs??, she would have been on it like an ethiopian on a chicken.

anyway, dog caught.. howling commenced... (OMG the sounds, it sounded like i was beating him with a porcupine) i'm lauging so hard at his howls that all i could do was whack him once on the head, at which point he looks at me like "thats it???? aww crap i thought i was gonna be hurtin???"

jr comes scrambling in, goes right to the damn dawg and hugs him round the neck and says "it's ok sammy" then promptly goes over and grabs a bit of sandwich off his plate and shoves it at the dog...which the dog promptly inhales (no shit.. his mouth opened, and from two feet away, this bit of sandwich seem to teleport to his mouth) just like a friggin hoover vacumn.


hmmm... HOOVER!
might be time re-name the dog, yet agin

peace
-dawg

quick, someone pass the holy water!

so, the search for a new dog ended (sucessfully...... sort-of, i think.....) rather quickly. after advertising on craigslist for a free "lab-like" dog, we ended up with a pure blooded black lab puppy. i mean, we have no papers or anything that says "this is a genuine lab" or any such nonsense, but by appearance he looks to be more lab than ya find at pet stores, and what the heck he was microchipped as well... who in their right mind chips a mutt puppy...
so here we go.. jet black, with slight white flash on chest, square blocky head, short oily coat, HUUUUGE feet.. microchipped... and definitely more enthusiastic than smart.
conclusion: black lab puppy. of course the previous owner neglected to mention the free worms, and ear mites that came with him... well, i guess ya get what ya get, and ya do what ya gotta do.

he came to us with the name "oscar" (which in retrospect might have been a perfect name, as he eats ANYTHING) but instead we promptly changed his name to "sammael" (sam -eye-ell) after the demon thing from hellboy....

little did we realize that the cute little puppy that was climbing all over our son licking and snuggling with him, would turn out to actually be the real sammael (the daemon from hellboy).

our little ball of joy has a dark side... we are talking dark lord of the sith here folks.
at night, or when we leave the house he turns into a ravening buzzsaw of destruction, and has taken to my books, with an orgiastic glee that is not to be imagined.. the blinds in my room have been reduced have been reduced by one third in size, my couch has a brand new storage space (right in the middle of the seat) and the "free range stuffed animal" population in jr's room has rocketed past endangered and is approaching impending extinction at warp 10!

the one saving grace with this whole situation is that jr freaking loves him.... god help me... the non-stop laughter is driving me insane.... i hear it in my sleep....... please ... someone.... pass the holy water... must exorcise..... the .....daemons!!!!!

peace
-dawg