And the birthday winner is!

Transformers, movies, petit fours, and legos. and the winner is ........ a balloon.
@#$$&!!@#!!#!@ a couple of hundred bucks worth of stuff that i woulda given my right nut for as a kid.... and he chooses a damn balloon?????

oh well, cest la vie.

with this latest "favorite" toy choice i have come to a conclusion about the criteria that the mutant uses in his selection process.

CRITERION:
1. must be noisy ( if ya think a balloon cant be noisy, just imagine it being bounced againsta a wall 90,000 times a minute for an hour straight..... no jury would convict me)

2. must be physically "non-permanantely damaging" (scars and gouges do not bode well for the retention of the aforementioned toy)

3. shoud be easy to conceal, or conceal ones self in ( this one sometimes gets ignored in favor of criterion 4)

4. should have "modification" potential (specifically can it be altered to make MORE noise?)

5. absolutely MUST annoy dad to the point of speechlessness in under a minute (for mom a 5 minute time limit on speechlessness is acceptable)

6. must NOT be interesting to the dog (except in a cringing oh god pleasepleaseplease dont hit me with that again, kind of way)

7. MUST have a protective "cute factor" (i.e. can be held in one hand, enhacing the cute factor while saying "i LOOOOVE you daddy)

soooo getting hit in the head by a balloon doesn't hurt??? BULLCRAP!!! i got to witness criteria 7 in action last night.
i am blissfully engrossed in a combination of heavy duty gameplay and good music (headphones on to shut out the "real" world.... mistake #1)
i am only peripherally aware of jr playing in the living room with his balloon (mistake#2 NEVER NEVER forget where the boy is)
i have forgotten to tel mom that i am in a raid (BIGGEST mistake, as she usually runs intererference during raid time)

all of a sudden out of the corner i "sense" more than see a large green object zipping towards my head..
result: i WHIP my head down and left to avoid the oncoming object and rocket my right hand up to block said object which at this time is no more than an inch from being in the space formerly occupied by my head. (ok folks just so as you know, i have very fast reflexes.. "pick a fly outta the air" type reflexes)
i actually blocked the balloon and about the same time that my fingers relayed the info "hey this is just a balloon) to my brain, my neck started relaying a completely different and quite disturbing message.... "OWowOWowFUCKowowowwo"

so how the hell do i explain to the dr that REALLY i got whiplash from a BALOON???

peace
-dawg