how many times have you been talking to someone and they have said something and apparently meant something completely different from what actually came out of their mouths?
well this is my guide to what folks really mean!
DAWGS GUIDE TO WHAT FOLKS TRULY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY......
CHAPTER 1
WIVES, HUBBIES, SIGNIFICANT OTHERS:
says: when you get time would you......
means: DO this NOW!!!
says: ohh there's no rush, take your time....
means: aren't you done yet????
says: we've got PLENTY of time.
means: it doesn't matter anymore cause we are already late....
says: no, i'm not blaming you, i am just saying....
means: YES it is YOUR FAULT
says: does this make me look fat....
means: i really want to pick a fight with somebody... and guess what YOU'RE IT!
says: how do i look....
means: (see above, and add) so you want to sleep outside for the next week huh?
says: ohh, it's ok honey....
means: HELL NO, you just fucked up, and boy howdy ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR IT!
says: can you watch the kids for a few while i look something up on the net...
means: LATER SUCKER, it's raid time!!!!
says: does it seem like the computer is running slow lately....
means: are you EVER going to upgrade this piece o shit????
says: heeey... that (insert random merchandise item here) looks kinda neat...
means: can i have that???
says: did you feed the boy.....
means: get off your lazy ass and feed the damn kid, his whining is pissin me off.
says: have you taken the dog outside lately....
means: TAKE THE FUCKING DOG OUT NOW!!! i just stepped in another puddle o piss dammit.
says: i hope you didnt want any more (insert random food/drink item here)
means: i just ate the last fucking one, what do you think yer gonna do about it huh???
says: i hate to bother you, but would you...
means: don't care what yer doing, snap to ya lazy bastard.
says: i'm going to shoneys with my sponsor, would ya watch the kids....
means: thanks hun, see ya tomorrow night!!
says: i need a meeting
means: fuck off, i'm ready to kill shit!
says: sorry, i didn't mean to....
means: HOW YA LIKE IT NOW THE SHOES ON THE OTHER FOOT FUCKER!!!
says: i loooove you....
means: i fucked up, please ignore it though.
says: i can't live without you...
means: remember that new car we used to have???
says: how much money is left in the account.....
means: well, there was this dress, and it was ON SALE!!!!!
nuff fer now, next time will be kids and pets.
vade in pace
-dawg
