toads... taste.. well........ BAD!!!!

THIS POST IS NOT KID FRIENDLY

sorry for not writing.. blah blah blah........
ahh forget that crap, i have just been too damn busy lately to write.

so jr is sick.. flu/cold who the hell knows (gonna inflict him on the dr tomorrow morn), and of course when jr is sick.... EVERYFUCKINGBODY is freaking MISERABLE!!!!
mom is so tired that she just kinda sits on the couch staring vacantly at the tv... (and its not even on)
me.. i'm just a little tired of saying .. "what??.. hang on.. blow your nose so i can understand you!" (figger as much as the mutant talks... i've been saying that A LOT!)
the lump.. well she's only come out of hiding for food lately.
and sammie?? he just kind of paces up and down the carpet grumbling to himself.

truly it is a house full of zombie-like miserable beings.... except jr...

hell he is actually kinda happy... leastways he seems to be garnering some type of insane glee from making the rest of us suffer. (i swear i saw his stuffed cow try to escape to the closet (YES it is that bad)

finally a couple of hours ago, the cough medicine took effect, and jr finally passed out... (to all of you who want to get self righteous about using meds that knock him out.... BUGGER OFF!! you try it on "politically correct" meds)
anywhoo...... passed out kid = household breaktime.
momma.. pours herself into the bed... the lump... well the lump remains lumplike, and sammie and i head outside for a smoke ... and no the dog doesn't smoke (he still can't figure out the lighter)
as i light up sammie waits patiently for me to throw something, anything.... ( whatever dude, just throw something now!!!!!!!!!)
as i get ready to grab a stick from the pile on our window ledge (big ass pile of sticks... sammie and jr BOTH fetch em) he notices a small brown shape on the porch..
immediately this lump has his interest (and mine) and he bolts the whole 6 inches to where it sits staring defiantly at both of us..
i take a look at this rather nice sized specimen of common american toad, and think to myself "heh, this is gonna be fun"
almost as if he read the "idiots guide to life" sammie promptly bounces up in the air (if you have a lab you understand the bounce.. if not, ask a lab owner) and pounces on the poor little toad.
looks up at me triumphantly with toad in mouth, and i swear to god.. the black dog looked a bit green around the gills as he just opens his mouth and PUSHES the toad out with his TONGUE (as if he wants to avoid all possible lip contact)
the toad plops to the ground and promptly puffs up and resumes his defiant stare.
sammie starts to shake his head and tries to scrape the foulness off his tongue by running it over his upper teeth, of course this is less than successful (to say the least).
at this point he starts droolling uncontrollably and foaming a bit at the mouth (shit naw, i ain't worried i know this un aint poison, just freakin NASTEEE tasting)
the dawg starts licking the concrete, dirt, grass, brick siding, woodedn garden rails, and finally seems to get some relief as he proceeds to lick his own ass (and we are talking colonoscopy here folks)
one wonders: how in the hell are we not up to our necks iin toads, if inserting ones tongue in your own ass actually tastes BETTER???

peace
-dawg