quick recap:
baby girl born on oct 21st
name: laura beth
nickname: stinkbutt (?? have you ever smelled baby farts?????)
weight/length at birth (big/long)
current status; sleeping (thank god)
** new masthead with updated pics coming soon **
needless to say things have been a jus a tiny bit hectic round here. (tiny bit... yeah right.. freaking insane is more like it)
having an infant in the house is a life changing experience (and not always the aww so cute, rip your heart out type)
think more like mind numbing zombification type life changing.
just a quick observance before i do what i should be doing (racing for the bed like the hounds of the dammned are after me)
the stages of early childhood are actually very easy to recognize as they change, leastways in hindsight, and with a touch of experience, they can be quantified by the type of sleep the parent and child gets at each stage.
newborn: sleeps like the dead for extended periods of time (think hibernation)
parent: sleep??? what the hell is that, who gets any for the first week??
infant: sleeps for random periods with no discernable pattern
parent: see above usually in sync with infant (results in neurotic zombie like state)
** special warning, parents at this stage are VERY susceptible to suggestion** ( jr actually talked us into getting him a FISH the other day.. this is how suggestible your frapped out brain can become.... hell this kid used to hit the dog in the head with a hammer.. and we got him a poor defenseless fish???)
toddler: sleep patterns regulate to whatever the hell th child wants, but can usually stretch for 6-7 hours of hibernation at a time (safety note: keep food handy for waking from hibernation.. hungry toddlers would kick the crap out of a hungry bear and are fricking meaner than wolverine with hemmorhoids)
parent: sleeps in time with child, but with one eye/ear open... TODDLERS are SNEAKY buggers.
(hnnpffh.. wazzat.. who the hell is at the door.....OMIGOD WHERE THEHELLIS %&%^*.... sneaky buggers they are)
grade schoolers: they don't sleep... they PASS OUT! best to set a scheduled time at night to make sure they are near something soft so as they don't injure themselves when they hit the floor.
parents: sleep whenever we can, creatures of opportunity at this point, drop where we stop.
teenager: this rare breed of creature has no apparent routine, and consumes staggering quantities of carb and sugar laden food, science is not really cerain that they actually sleep at all, best guess is some sort of trance like state, that sereves as sleep.
parent: finally... some real rest... ain't shit gonna wake us up.... well... maybe the house on fire.... MAYBE!
peace
-dawg
