outback special!, or (how the fries stole new year)

allrighty folks, rant time!

as ya'll know i'm not too bad in the kitchen, so consequently i don't eat out very often, and when i do it tends to be on special occasions.

we decided after multiple hours of shopping(with a restless screaming toddler no less) to grab a to go order from the outback steakhouse here in clarksville tn.

visions of golden melted cheese atop my french fires, and succulent tasty cow filled my head...
so off we go to order our dinner, upon placing my order with obligatory modifications and additions, we were told that it would be ready in about 25 minutes.
we decided to mosey up to the bar and grab a soda while we waited, and jr promptly started pointing out all the "sharks" on the wall and growling at the wait staff (do sharks growl???)
after about 15 minutes of growls, gnashing teeth and general toddler underfootedness, it was decide that maybe we should go wait in the car, as that would severely reduce the chance of injury, and maybe maintain a touch more sanity.

we watch, and wait...and wait.... and wait... as multiple cars come and go picking up ther to-go orders. ath the 45 minute mark, jr starts in on his mantra.... "i'm staaaarrrrrving" ... "is that our food"..
no son its not
"i'm staaaarrrrrving" ... "is that our food"..
no
"i'm staaaarrrrrving" ... "is that our food"..
NO
"i'm staaaarrrrrving" ... "is that our food".. (this last one said with genuine tears)
no, but the next order damn well better be..

at an hour i decide to walk in and find out if they were done slaughtering the cow, and perhaps would we see our food sometime this decade.. when to my surprise out pops the order taker with a huge bag o chow....and tells me "i'm very sorry sir, we are very busy, it should'nt have taken so long"

well at this point i am tired, frustrated and hungry.... hell if ya took a shoe and put a little salt on it, i would've eaten it..
so off to the house we go to eat our tasty tasty cow in peace.

here is te meal broken down by item and what my expectations were vs. what we actually recieved.

appetizer : Aussie cheese fries with extra bacon and cheese
expected: golden brown fries topped with moleten cheese filling the container.
reality: sad little pile of blackened/dark brown fries that MIGHT have filled HALF the container with a mangled strip of bacon and some crumbles to boot, atop a pathetic sprinkling of cheese.
(i guess extra cheese/bacon means, ."they want FREEBIES.???? give em the CRAP from the back o the bin")

entree #1 ***EDEN'S***outback special (12 oz sirloin) medium rare
expected: (should be thin red line in center)
reality: little bit o pinkish tint to leather like grayish meat like substance
(i think ill order a bbq'd hoof next time.. good lord it would have to be more tender than what we got)

entree #2 ****SEANS**** flo's fillet 9oz filet rare
expected: (should be warm red center)
reality: ask for rare.. get medium.... par for the course... most gristly fillet i have ever had, additionally tasted a bit sour, as if aged too long, or just left out for a couple o hours.
(oh sure, i just ask for rare, because i actually want my steak cooked to death with a flamethrower...... rare people means , if ya stick the steak with a fork it fucking goes MOO!)

entree #3 ****jr's**** jackaroo chicken fingers
expected: chicken fingers
reality: chicken fingers
(holy crap, even outback can't screw up deep fried chicken bits)

veggies: steamed vegatables
expected: cooked
reality: dipped in warm water for 5 minutes.
(im all for natural vitamins and minerals.... but at least defrost the fucking veggies first)

conclusions.... if out back is "BUSY" and you get a to go order, they ASSUME taht you will:
a: not check your order before leaving (got that right)

b: will choke down whatever mediocre fodder they give you ( right again, never underestimate tired and hungry)

and c: take it up the ass and not complain! ( WRONG-O....)

conclusion, .. barring any response to the complaint left on outbacks website. time for a personal boycott of outback...
i highly suggest that any of you who happen to swing through the clarksville tn area, avoid the outback here at all costs... go to longhorn or logans instead..
aditionally, if you have an experience at an outback that sux... CALL AND COMPLAIN.. let em know that ya wont be screwed by them!

rant off...............
peace
-dawg