cracking the code: final:: under new management

thankfully disaster has been completely averted.... thanks to the lumps defection from the mutants army of conquest, i had a chance to save us all...

god i am such a moron, all this time i was thinking it was mental powers the mutant was using. well i seemed to miss the OBVIOUS... remember the remote control??? it seems that it was not a toy car remote, rather it was a UNIVERSAL remote. and sure enought the little booger was using it to control his universe, and mine... and the neighbors...etc.. i'm thinking ya'll get the point.

all this information was passed on by the arch-traitor lump... apparantly the mutant got a little stingy with the snacks, and when the lump was faced with a choice between loyalty to the mutant, or a tasty treat... well her spine snapped and she defected to the side of the good and righteous.
and when i say it snapped, i mean it SNAPPED. i mean one second, she's sitting by the mutants side, and then ....... "CRAAACK" followed by a rather subdued "pop" (the sound of air being displaced by her teleportation) she is 20 feet away , laying on her side with her nose damn near touching her tail and slobbering over the piece of steak i had just dropped on the floor.
and they say red meat is bad for you..... the hell with that.. carnivores rule!!!

anyway, in return for another pice of steak she spilled all.. thus armed with the knowledge so recently aquired, i managed to sneak into the mutants command center (his room) snitched his universal remote and removed the batteries.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!


fast forward to the next afternoon.... the mutant walks into the living room, fixes mom and me with a steely glare and says.... bugu pleez!
after about 2 minutes with no response from either one of us, the mutant stalks into his room momentarily and then returns with the remote... BUGU PLEEZ!!!!
the look of consternation plastered on the mutants face turns to a smug grin as i get up from the couch and head towards the kitchen (and incidentally the door closest to the car) while in the kitchen i hear the mutant babbling to the lump in triumph (little knowing of the defection, or that disaster approaches)
i exit the kitchen as greedy little mutant paws claw the air before me in expectation of a whopper jr.... and recieved a pb&j instead!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! the heart rending scream of anguish, that issued from the mutants throat filled me with pure joy in knowing that i had triumphed... with a fierce scowl the mutant threw his remote on the ground (he knew instantly that he had been thwarted and his weapon neutralized) screamed "FINE" and ran wailing back to his room..

no doubt as i write this he is planning some all new plot, but now that we are aware of his capabilities , we shall be vigilant... and if he slips something by us, there is always the turncoat..


"the price of peace is eternal vigilance"
-dawg